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Thursday, 03 January 2008

  •  "Happy New Year of 2008 :)  I wish everyone's dreams come true and may all the best to you.  What is your resolution in this year?  Or, what is your goal?  I resolve to be more hard-working than previous year on my pathway. :) You? "
     
      "Well, I went to the hospital today to visit Jason, sigh..unfortunately, he still not wake up.  I feel bad for what I told him before his surgery, and recently, I told him everything of my reasons about why I broke w/ him while his eyes still close.  I hope you will forgive me Jason, and I wish you can wake up as soon as possible.  I admit that I still love someone, but too bad, that person just thought that I'm extra or doing something which useless or stupid.  I really shouldn't love that person anymore since just only a little help, but that person could reject me, now, i'm totally late for my grade, because the community college does limited the time for the professor to change the grade of students.  Therefore, I ought to bring a bad transcript back to csula.  I was feeling unbelievable of the one I still loving.  How can he treats me like this?  For me, no matter I don't like someone, if it's emergency or urgent things, I still help people with no exception in my world."

      "Jesus...sigh.. sometimes, I really can't be nice to people, because they won't help you anything when you in need, but you gonna help them and that's called stupid or deserve?  no way... sigh.. Well, of course, I don't want to force one to do something which one doesn't want to do, but I saw the real face after this issue.  I'm not mad, just disappointed of that person's behavior.  Anyway, let's forgive and forget, and again, no matter what i'm going to do or what I have done, that person will never ever feels good or anything, and keeps on showing me the picture of him and his x.  I was guessing the reason why that person keeps on showing me the picture of him and his x is because that person wants to get rid of me.  Please, I would say " you are such a jerk", the one who just only knew how to hurt a girl's feeling and never put yourself in my shoes, well, this is probably a man's character, i'm not saying all men, but mostly in the world.  Girls are not greedy, indeed, men are.  BECAUSE, no matter what we done to them, in their mind/heart, there's just only 3 words: "not in enough."  God bless them!"

Thursday, 13 December 2007

  •  "Father, thank you God for everything you have done to me. :) I don't know whether I made a right decision or not, but I know what i'm doing.  Jason is a really great guy, and i can say he is a dream lover to lots of girls in the world.  sigh.. :) Well, sorry Jason, I knew you are really good, and I'm not worth to wait.  Jason, you can seek another girl to have potential to become your wife. I really regret to start w/ you one week dating, because I really can't lie to myself.  As  a Christian, I should be honest and honest to myself.  I thought I could forget the feeling to someone, but I really can't, and I really really miss someone, and still waiting for someone.  I knew I shouldn't break up w/ you before your surgery, but I don't want to lie to myself and you anymore.  Right, lots of girls are expecting this kind of guy - father is a boss of a company, mother is manager of east west bank, uncles are doctors, and you are smart, great facial expression, tall, romantic, kind, lovely, and especially you are a CHRISTIAN.  I really appreciate for what you have done to me, and really glad and feel touched of it, but I would say we can be a very very very BEST FRIENDS, or business partners in the future. 

     Jesus, I knew you won't say yes or no, but to wait, and you are not Santa Clause a ma, :) Father, I'll wait for your response, and guides.  :)  You might thinking i'm so stupid to wait for someone who never cared about me, about my feeling, or even something else.  Lord, I really know what i'm doing and I never regret to break up w/ Jason, honestly, I still have the hurt feeling of someone's words, and I'm like waiting wind, but I would rather be the wind around someone better than be an object of someone.  I won't expect too much things anymore, because u will get what you deserve, not request, and, again, I still love that person.  Sorry, Jason.  :) 

Monday, 03 December 2007

  •  FATHER, sigh.. I feel so lonely.   -.- Anyway, feeling stressful, full of tension, and sigh.. God, I hope you really understand my feeling.  Please Lord, pray GOD, I feel like i can't breath, tell me am I right or wrong.  sniff sniff.. -.- Help, I need your help, Jesus..please, please.. -.- I don't know am I right or wrong, and I think I already trapped into the mental illness.  Satan, release this little girl, please, please..release me.. SNIFF.. 

Sunday, 02 December 2007

  •   "Sigh.. So tire, i hate finals.  I hope i pass Accouting and Econ, and I hope i have a wonderful Christmas with my friends this year. :)  God, thank you for everthing you have done to me.  I finally peel off this burden and suffering in my heart.  It's not that i'm not patient or what, but I feel no protection nor safety, and I never going to be post on his allowance list in the future.  I felt like i'm going to wait "wind" forever and ever.  Enough, he keeps on disappointed me again and again.  He makes me feel like i'm not good, therefore i never qualify to be his life partner.  Jesus, for everything i'm doing now, I hope you understsand my feeling, please allow your daughter to fool around a while, please, i been circle myself for a long time, i can't breath.  sigh... I promise you that I will take myself out of this issue as soon as possible, but before that, please allow your daughter to stay for a while in this dream.  -.-  I love you guys - didi, siling, God, and more.  Amen!! "


    Sunday, 11 November 2007

    • "I had a a great birthday with my family which was 11/8. Gifts are not important to me, as long as those I love and care remember me, then it's enough.  I really really appreciated that my older cousin, Carmen, remembers my birthday, and one of my friends/sisters (Chelsy), however when she called me during I was at work, but I knew she was intending to say happy b-day to me, and when I called her back, no one pick up the phone.  It's okay, because she did call which demonstrated that she remembers my b-day.  In contrast for last year, she didn't.  Some of my friends, however they don't even leave a message or anything, but I knew they are busy for school, works, and other stuff, and I understood that it's doesn't mean they don't remember me, this friend."

      "Yesterday, I took a half day off from work to hang go to some places with my sister and older cousin.  We had a great day.  Also, we were celebrating for my birthday, because everybody need to go to work on weed day, so celebrated during weekend.  We went to World buffet, and after all, we went to Chuong's house....ahhahahahha...He knew my cousin's father (his father in law) visited his house, he hide another place...hahahhahhah....Sooooo tire, but sooooo happy.  We were so full already, cuz ate a lot at buffet, but when we went to my couisn's husband house, her father-in-law cooked for us to eat more, we had to eat some, cuz called RESPECTED.  LOL...sooo freaking full while i'm on diet treatment.  u know..lol....We plan to have a big party during Thanksgiving this year, and invite Carmen's husband to come too.  :)  He is a shy person, always bow his head down, unless you talk to him between a far distance, then he will have confidence. If he participates more events with us, it will help him to become less shy. :) We are a Family. ^.^ "

       



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